(Powerful leadership lessons are learned from everywhere. In a sporadic series of blogs, I am going to explore the people that taught me those lessons. Some will be expected, others may not. Thanks for reading!)
Being a parent is probably one of the most effective ways to learn. Maybe it’s because I had no idea what I was doing and yet HAD to be successful at it. Maybe it was the fact that you REALLY did have someone’s life in your hands. I’m not entirely sure, but being a father taught me more about leadership than almost any experience I’ve had.
My daughter is a smart, accomplished young adult now. Although I’m not completely objective, others tell me that my wife did a great job raising her. Every day with her gave me insight into leadership. Although there were many lessons, here are the top three:
1. BECAUSE I SAID SO IS NOT A CALL TO ACTION
Although its hard to believe, telling someone to do something they don’t understand, don’t want to do and/or don’t feel comfortable doing because you told them to is not inspiring. I know, shocking, right?
Who would have thought that he was talking about parenting? Really! The greatest resistance we got was when we demanded our daughter do something or forced her to do something. Even when she was very little, helping her understand why we were asking her to do something allowed her to see the end game. It clarified rationale. People want to know why they are being asked to take on a task. Treat them with the respect and let them know. Once they understand that you are doing things for their best interests or the greater good, you’ll earn their trust. Then you can make requests that’ll be fulfilled without question.
2. EACH MEMBER OF THE TEAM’S OPINION COUNTS, NO MATTER THEIR RANK
When making a decision that will affect the team, it’s vital to gather everyone’s insight about it. Although you may not use all of it, you can and should talk to everyone. It is often surprising the ideas that come from the least expect members of the group.
Holidays have always been a source of stress for my family. Where to spend them, how to allocate time to all members of the family equally, etc. After a very heated discussion, my daughter piped up and said, “Why don’t we just have everyone here.”
Simple AND genius. Very powerful solution that made sure everyone was satisfied.
Although not every idea is golden from every person on a team, it is critical to listen. The best ideas come from the most unexpected places.
3. TRY TO MAKE EVERYTHING FUN
Okay, it’s hard to make filling out Travel and Expense paperwork fun. But, my daughter made a game out of just about anything that was mundane or boring. Whether is was cleaning her bathroom or straightening her room, she did those things with a certain sense of joy. It almost made them look fun. Not to say that getting her to do some things wasn’t a chore, but in the end she made those tasks work FOR her. She became very good at them and almost looked forward to them as a time to reflect or relax her mind. Sounds funny, but it works. I started to that with team meetings, performance appraisals, project updates, etc. Surprisingly enough, it worked. My team started to pick up on it. Needless to say, “administrivia” was never the same again.
I’m a more thoughtful and pleasant leader because of being a father. Luckily for me, I listened and learned from her.
Where do you learn unexpected lessons of leadership? What relationships provide you with valuable insight?
Anil Saxena is the President of Cube 2.14, an organizational development consulting firm that works with clients to increase both customer and employee engagement while decreasing turnover, improving customer retention, and increasing profitability within organizations.
Saxena is a certified High Impact coach and trainer and a Joint Application Design facilitator. He is also certified by both Rush Systems and IBM as a focus group facilitator. He is an inaugural member of Northwestern University’s Learning and Organizational Change program, and he earned his bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering from the Illinois Institute of Technology.
