(Powerful leadership lessons are learned from everywhere. In a sporadic series of blogs, I am going to explore the people that taught me those lessons. Some will be expected, others may not. Thanks for reading!)
My mother was the daughter of a tobacco farmer from rural North Carolina. She was the 10th out of 12 children. It was unlikely, based on her childhood, that she would have a career of her own, let alone leave North Carolina. But, my mother isn’t like most people. She is strong willed and determined. Some of her friends call her a force of nature. My father was a larger than life figure, but my mother was never engulfed in his shadow. Instead she was able to make him better and have even more impact. What I didn’t know was how powerful she is. In the 20 years after my father’s death, I have had the privilege to see what a difference she makes with others every day. Although there are many, there are three big lessons about being a leader I learned from her.
LESSON -LEADERS AREN’T VICTIMS OF THEIR BIRTH PLACES, THEY ARE THE CREATORS OF THEIR FUTURES.
My mother should have been married and with child before she was 18. That is, if she followed in the footsteps of her siblings. She decided that was not to be her. She was going to make her own way. My mother put herself through nursing school, refusing to be just like everyone else. She read everything she could get her hands on.
After leaving North Carolina, she only went back on her own terms. Since she left she’s:
• Had dinner with the President of the US
• Met Ravi Shankar
• Hosted dinners for hundreds of dignitaries
• Traveled all over the world
• And so much more
She didn’t and I never do.
LESSON – LEADERS DON’T LET PEOPLE PUSH THEM AROUND
My mother led a rebellion. She and her neighbors led a revolt to free themselves from an oppressive co-op board. She was threatened, ridiculed and openly harassed. Not only did that not intimidate her, it mad ever will stronger. She rallied her group and stood up to board. And she won. In the end, her neighbors saw her as their champion and the board, albeit reluctantly, saw her as someone not to be trifled with.
LESSON- LEADERS STICK UP FOR PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY CAN’T STICK UP FOR THEMSELVES
My mother’s profession was nursing. She was the champion of the downtrodden and stood up for people when ever she got a chance. At 4 feet 11.5 inches tall, she cast a long shadow. I remember her stopping people fighting, standing between a man and woman he was trying to intimidate and sticking up for people getting treated poorly in restaurants/grocery stores.
When I was a kid, there was a boy who lived in our neighborhood that everyone picked on. (No it wasn’t me, that happened in High School). One day my Mom saw some of the boys at the bus stop were roughing him up. She told me, you need to stand up for him. I didn’t understand why, but the next day I did. It wasn’t easy but for some reason I felt so much better after I did. My friends didn’t make fun of me when I took a stand. Instead they followed suit and the boy that was picked on became on of the group.
I am a better person and leader because of the lessons my mother taught me. Lucky for the folks I’ve worked with, I’ve had great teachers to help guide me.
Who gave you your lessons in leadership?
Anil Saxena is the President of Cube 2.14, an organizational development consulting firm that works with clients to increase both customer and employee engagement while decreasing turnover, improving customer retention, and increasing profitability within organizations.
Saxena is a certified High Impact coach and trainer and a Joint Application Design facilitator. He is also certified by both Rush Systems and IBM as a focus group facilitator. He is an inaugural member of Northwestern University’s Learning and Organizational Change program, and he earned his bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering from the Illinois Institute of Technology.
